Sunday, December 31, 2006

Christmas Family Dinner 2006

Sorry I was late posting this... got too distracted by all the food and sleeping. ^_^
Used Google's Picasa2 service to upload them. Only 250 Mb size maximum for free accounts but it's sufficient for now. ^_^

Click here to view.

We didn't take a lot of pics. Maybe because we were hungry. :)
The pics without flash were taken by me, because I like the dim lighting, creates the mood for it. However, the others preferred the pics to be totally brightened with the camera flash. Ugh... ^_^

Yes, it was dark after we took the pics, but that's not something we cannot fix after some brightness adjustment with Photoshop, right?

Me and my love. See? It's not that bad... ya?

From christmasdinn...

OK, hears a clear one to be fair.

Two of the three women I love the most in my life - Mama and Sharm. (My sis, Cindy, is in Japan :( )
From christmasdinn...

I have mentioned many times that I was out of shape. Many have doubted it. Here's the secret: it's all in the angles.

Here's how I really look like:

Our family dinner.

From christmasdinn...


Overall, the dinner was really great, a nice buffet at Casuarina Hotel lounge restaurant, Ipoh. Sharm joined us, but I feel bad for not bringing her family along.

The food was excellent. Most of everyone left the salmon alone, so I literally ate half of the plate served on the buffet table. Other than that, the barbecued mutton and beef was juicy and nice. As with the local cuisines - ginger chicken, roasted duck, mixed veges, salad, "localized" pasta...etc. The fruits still sucks, it's the one thing that never change about this place. But the cakes... man, the cakes were fantastic. Why, I couldn't even bring myself to eat some of them because they look so nice.

U can't touch dis...

From christmasdinn...

Hope your Christmas was good too!

.... and now on to the New Year!!

Friday, December 29, 2006

Miracle turned Tragedy... because of "culprit" - NO FOLLOW UP!

I had hesitated to post this... but now I HAVE to get it off my chest.

Go here to read the previous post on this matter

Sunday December 10, 2006
Cops yet to receive instruction on SMS case

IPOH: Police are still waiting for instructions from the At-torney-General’s Chamber on whether to charge a woman for her alleged involvement with the SMS on the purported baptism of Muslims at a church here.

Deputy Perak police chief Senior Asst Comm (I) Datuk Tan Seng Eng said police had yet to receive any instructions after investigation papers on the matter were submitted at the end of last month.

The woman, in her 40s, and her 38-year-old husband, were released on police bail on Nov 27.

SAC (I) Tan was speaking to reporters after launching the Ipoh district police crime prevention campaign at a shopping complex here yesterday.

Early last month, protesters had gathered in front of the church in Silibin here after rumours of the purported baptism spread through SMS. It turned out to be the first Holy Communion for about 100 Catholic children.

Source here

Sunday December 9, 2006

Perak Deputy Police Chief SAC 1 Datuk Tan Seng Eng said the police had yet to receive any directive.
"As it is now, we are not making any more arrests," he told reporters after launching an anti-crime campaign organised by Ipoh City Police at a shopping complex here today.

Source here

In summary - it's been a month, and still no action taken. Nuff said.

And why am I not surprised?

1) Note that after the bail release, the "culprit" is being SENT HOME in a police car. With police escort. ... How nice. a good "VIP" treatment for criminals.

2) Note that the court is still UNDECIDED whether to charge the "culprit" under the Sedition Act OR to grant her an unconditional release... How noble. Eating their own promises and words. (They have boldly declared that the culprit would definitely be charged and punished, as echoed by the Prime Minister and Deputy Prime Minister)

3) Note that it's been ONE WHOLE MONTH since the bail release, and still no verdict, no action taken, no news at all... How thoughtful. To let the news fade by itself, hopefully the public may forget about it soon.

Bleh. I am going to be sick.

It all within my expectations on how the situation will end, way back when the problem first started. In fact, when I received the news about Item (2) above, it has sealed my predictions to the wall.

Here's a homework for you --> try and guess what would have happened if the races were reversed. i.e. Chinese/Indians protesting in front of a mosque.

You know... part of me had hoped, that at least something will change this time. But as you can see, the government and police have let us down. Yet again.

... And people ask me why I'm not supportive of my own country.


Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Of Christmas Holidays and a Blast from the Past...

Had relaxing holiday, I can't remember the last time I slept this much, but it was really therapeutic. My headaches have calmed down, but I don't expect it to go away soon. On Christmas night, had a wonderful dinner with my parents and my fiance. The pictures are in my pen-disk, but I'm too lazy to go dig it in my luggage. I've just reached home, and getting ready to sleep. Tomorrow's back to reality and work. *sigh*

Firstly, today is OUR anniversary, my fiance and me. Today was our 2 year anniversary of our first date. We met again on Christmas morning after separated for 9 years and I asked her out on the next day. Two years. Time flies when you're having fun, no? It wasn't just all fun, there were tears also. But I'm glad we made it this far. (Sounds like a love song I've heard somewhere?)... But it's been a swell two years, and I'm wishing the next two, twenty or two hundred years would remain the same.... (If we could live that long, that is. ^_^)

Secondly, need to show this... my haircut.

Needed a change of mood and therefore a change of hairstyle. Now I don a Visual Kei hairstyle. Dyed it brown-red, with spikes. This will take up an extra 10 minutes of my mornings to style 'em up. But it's worth it. Next, I need to work on my weight problem. No point having a cool looking hair but having a unfit body. So it's back to the weights and running shoes from this day on.

In other news.... a blast from my past.

Many years ago, I helped the Lagenda BEC in Taman Song Choon area, to start out a caroling troupe. With my previous experiences of caroling with the church choir, I was confident to lend what little help I can to get them started. It was a great fun and a successful endeavor. However, controversy arises when the church choir questioned my commitment and loyalty by doing this. Loyalty? Commitment? Golly, since when we have sub-societies within our church? Truly, I was torn apart between the two. But I decided to divied my time between the choir and training these group of people to be able to sing carols. End of the day, we had a blast, other than caroling in their BEC Christmas party, we even went commercial and performed in a hotel lounge. I watched a group of under-trained adults, teens and children, with raw and unpolished voices... transform into a group of mini-choir with voices of angels, singing with sheer confidence. But this has brought some unspoken tension between me and the church choir.

For a long time, the choir has been the Microsoft of the church. Total monopoly of carol requests and control on who gets in the choir or not. This, in my view, had the choir members' noses high up in the clouds, and that is not good. I followed my heart and gave a group of lay-people a chance, finally, to sing their hearts out, spreading the Christmas cheer in their own way. Also, hopefully, the church choir can learn something from this. But I ended up looking like a two-faced, double-crosser. Was what I did wrong? That question has haunted me for a long time.

Finally, an SMS from a leader of the BEC came today, with Christmas greetings... and short words expressing that they missed my carolling support, but they managed to do it on their own this year. I was happy, that at least I have made a difference in a small way. I don't know how many times that they have done it ever since I stopped leading their carolling, but I was glad that they didn't stop there. A certain feeling of nostalgia occupied my mind the entire day, and I can sigh in relief, that all my effort did not go to waste. Praise the Lord!

However.... when I shared this with three of the most important people in my life - Papa, Mama and my fiance,.... it was met with disinterest. I was saddened, that I can find nowhere to share my joy.... *sigh*... Oh well...

I wish the Lagenda BEC knew that they have made an old forgotten soul happy this day. And how they changed my life, just as much I hope I have changed theirs.

Will post the pictures mentioned tomorrow.... Peace ^_^

Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas to Everyone! ^_^

Merry Christmas to everyone!

Had a great Christmas morning. Usually I don't look forward to Christmas mornings, because I have to get up early in the morning to prepare for mass. I prefer lazing around me bed, wrapping myself in my blanket in the cold, and chilly morning. But it was worth the trouble.

Actually we saw some great things in church since yesterday. Last night we went for the usual weekend sunset mass. And where we sat, a young lady had pushed in an old man, with tubes still attached to his nostrils and wrists. He was clearly half dazed there, but I think he knows where he was. I've seen this old soul before, he was always there at the right wing, in a wheelchair pushed by his daughter (presumably) but this was the first time I saw him in half-conscious state and with tubes. Father Rudy (redemptorist priest from OMPH) descended from the altar and came to his wheelchair for a special blessing for him, which afterwards he addressed to the congregation that THIS was a miracle and an example to be learned. His message in his sermon and closing homily is to look deep in our hearts for a reason, to find joy even during our darkest times. This, I agree very much... only a couple of days since I posted the story of my injury history, and Father Rudy pretty much summed it up for me.

This morning, more elderly, blind, and sickly people came for the Christmas morning mass. Father Michael Cheah was more than glad to come down from the altar as well, to present the Eucharist to those who have trouble moving around. Mama said to me that she wished that Ah Poh (grandma), though sickly, could have done the same. Ah, but... I know Jesus would have came to her room anyway. Though it could have been good for her to come to church, which she didn't for the last how-many years. Excuses? I don't know, that's between God and her.

I called up an old friend from Catechism class after mass, and set up a meeting with her. Gosh, she was still as beautiful as the last time I met her. She's single now. Anyone who wants her number can call me, but please remember to attach a cheque thereafter.

Then I called up another dude who was supposed to meet up with me for drinks last week. Haven't met him for some time already. So I'm roping him in, because we were Catechism classmates too (as is my fiance). This will be a cool reunion. ^_^

However, my Christmas present was given away. That was the only casualty.

The gramaphone that I wanted to pick up during this weekend, was given away to some fellow. It seems that the new owner of our old house gave the gramaphone set to the contractor (who was renovating the house), and in turn shipping it to another person. Papa and Mama was throwing blames at each other, while I, though disappointed, said that's it's fine. Shouldn't really claim back an item that was given away, sounds silly anyway. Papa was adamant, in spite of me asking him to give up, he stubbornly asked the new owner for numbers so that he can try to get it back. What a bloody waste of time.

I was cool about it, really. But what pisses me off is that Papa putting up some effort when it was already GONE. If something was to be done, it could have been in AUGUST, when I said I wanted it. Now it's making our family look like a bunch of laughing stock. *sigh*. I blame myself for not taking charge of the situation. Maybe the gramaphone set would have been around if I asked for the numbers a couple months back.

Now, I'm blogging, Papa's in the kitchen washing something and Mama's sweeping the hall. We're all obviously in a bad mood, and we're finding something to do, just to occupy our mind. :)
.... Well, you gain some,.... you lose some.... :)
Overall it's a good Christmas. Hope you had a merry one too.

Happy Holidays everyone!
Peace to all ^_^

Friday, December 22, 2006

Not quite right in the mind, body and soul.... But I'm blessed.

Angry Idiot: "You bastard!! You better go get your head checked or something...!!"
Me: "Well, actually I had an MRI scan last week. Thanks for your concern."

That would be my standard answer whenever somebody decide to insult me with the age-old muse of brain related put-downs.


I went to the University Malaya Medical Centre to get an appointment with a neurologist in order to book a time to get an MRI scan. However the nearest date I can get is March 16th next year. That's what you get for being the best hospital with the best facilities. I was hospitalised there before when I got run down by a car years ago. Other than the poor security, that place is a cool place, one would mistake it for a hotel because of the good service.

Anyways, I went back to the clinic to see if I can get referred to another hospital for a sooner date, but no dice. Anywhere else will blow a big hole in my wallet. So I'm sticking to the booked date. And in the meanwhile, it's time I put on my running shoes again and shoot some hoops, to stay good health and hopefully keep me in better shape.

I rarely talk about my past injuries, but would gladly indulge whenever someone asks. So here's how it's like in a nutshell... for those who don't know.

This brain scan thing, is the second time I remember feeling this down. The first was when I was diagnosed with a case of slip-disc 9 years ago. Two herniated intervertabral disc, pressing against my spinal cord at the lower lumbar. I could have been paralysed from the left side of my body.

It was because I was super active in sports way back in school, particularly basketball. Did lots of weight-lifting and lots of running. Took part in "sports marathon" with my friends. (11 hours of consecutive running, basketball, soccer and swimming) I was in my fittest (and hottest) when I was 17. But my reckless weight-lifting practices and over-the-edge activity finally reached its limit. The last straw was when I was jumping for a rebound and swinging around for a behind-the-back pass on landing. That was when I hear the scariest sound ever - the "Crack!" sound of my lower back finally giving way. I remember sitting down, unable to stand, while assuring my team mates that I was OK. But I'm not. The images of the MRI scan of my back, showed me the most frightening thing I have ever laid my eyes upon.

I was in total state of anguish and self-hate. Even loathed God for my incompetent body and sad fate. Weeks later after I was discharged, I travelled 200km to Sunway Pyramid for the (now demolished) largest roller coaster ride with my godbrother. Two consecutive times. (Note: Roller coasters are forbidden for people with a weak heart or bad backs) I was hoping to get myself killed there and then. But it never happened. (Yeah, I was a real stupid teenager back then...)

I love sports, and my physical ability as the one thing I took pride in. I remember taking on 3 people at the same time in a basketball game, and beat them at it. But like Titanic, God took me down, crushing my pride to pieces. I think God was trying to teach me a lesson, the hard way. I soon reconciled with God a few years after. Right now, even though I cannot sit/stand for a long time without the feeling of pain in my back, even though I cannot lift heavy objects, even though I cannot take part in sports as vigorously as before, even though my fit and muscular physique is now replaced with a fat and undertoned body..... at least I am still breathing and I can still walk.

Now comes my headache. Possibly migraine, possibly burnout. I don't know. But I was feeling down yesterday. I tried to push my limits again, this time at work. I am the type that would give all my energy and effort to accomplish things. Will not hesitate to put up over-nighters and programming marathons if needed be. Even though for the past weeks, the office have been quiet... the side-effects of my activities for the past year have finally shown its ugly head. I attribute this NOT to genetic inheritance of my family's history of hypertension and high blood pressure. But to my excessive working hours, irregular eating/sleeping habits, and long periods in front of the computer. In short, unhealthy lifestyle. Again, my over-the-edge lifestyle have taken me down with a side Russian leg-sweep. But after all the concern and support given to me by Papa, Mama(who cried), my fiance and my boss, tells me that I don't have to be that miserable. My bad mood has lasted me less than 24 hours. I feel that I have made a significant improvement and is definitely a stronger person. (even though I don't look like it physically) ^_^

My head is not fully healthy, my body is a wreck, my soul definitely scarred... but indeed I am blessed.

Have a nice day... ^_^

Thursday, December 21, 2006

It's Back.... and worse than ever.....

Went to the doctor's today. Because of food poisoning. Also to double-check my headache and my blood pressure again. But the latter results made me forget to ask the doctor to check on my crummy stomach...

After some general diagnosis, and questions, the doctor decided to refer me to the neuro-specialist for brain scan or an MRI scan, suspecting that my headache may be because of migraine, and something more. I knew I shouldn't have told the doc about me seeing double-visions at night. I thought that was because of lack of sleep, but the doctor thinks otherwise. Scans and diagnosis like that costs a bomb, about RM 700 not counting consultation. So I asked the doctor to refer me to the General Hospital instead, it's cheaper that way.

Ya know,....I've been thinking of posting some old photos and old stories in my life, onto this blog. Sort of a "Flashback Special Series" blogging kind of thing. I remembered that it was said that when people facing death, they see their life flash before their eyes. A sign of things to come for me?

Have taken the half day off, will be going to office in a while. Still thinking whether I should take the referral to go the hospital, and when. I don't think my company covers this, so I have to pay through me nose. It's only days after I recounted my blessings, then this happens... *sigh*... Oh well....

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Stronium Family Photo

The working force behind the spectacular Stronium .

Let me know if you want an online store setup, or managed hosting services. Ya? ^_^

Wedding Photos... from last month

No, not MY wedding. ^_^ :)

Forgotten to put this up. Some photos from the wedding reception of my colleague, Tay, last month. It's a wonderful union of a long, long courtship. Befitting surname too, Tay and his wife Tee. (Teh and Tea, get it? ^_^)

The family photo (Working colleagues count as family too)

The kissing show (To show their ex's. That they have no chance no more)

Me and my colleagues, Shaun and Yen Ying (YY has gone back to school)

Me and Sabrina (Fake Charlie's Angel)

Monday, December 18, 2006

Blogging about blogging again... ^_^

My Hello! Project blog H!P - Hello Non-Pro Hour with Jinryuichi has been getting good response these days. Special thanks to all that have been regularly reading the blog. You guys rock! ^_^

Actually, I started that blog in the first place to document my search mission for news on Kago Ai. Then before I knew it, I was writing articles about topics that people want to read. It seems that I enjoyed writing more than I expected, and also because I can do it by typing on the keyboard now. I used to keep a diary, but the writing-with-pen-and-paper thing is just too tiring. With this motivation, I plan to write more. And hopefully write more things in THIS blog too.... :)

Recently I submitted my link to Ray of to add my blog to his feed community - Feed of Pop. So that my readership base can get even better.

Now the Feed of Pop is managed feed site, meaning it's handled manually. It's hard work for Ray to read all Jpop related sites that are included in his feed list, and he has to manually update it. Much respect~~! ^_^

Then I found that Ray took the time to read my archived posts and include it into the FoP. But then not all the posts are edited into "teaser" format. Maybe he forgotten. All I know is that for those posts, the site traffic would stop there, and there will be no click-through to my blog, because the reader can just read it off that page. I thought about asking Ray to edit it, but then again I realised how much work he has to do and it was really cool of him to search my archives and read my really long-winded posts. So I guess I'll leave it just as it is. ^_^

Changes and Miracles

A lot of things have happened this past week and many weeks before. Life has been interesting for me, as we prepare for the celebration of the birth of our saviour this month. Christmas shopping has started, along with the usual back-to-school shopping too. I have sought to bury a dark past of mine, starting from yesterday's penitential service. I hope I have done enough to "make the path straight for the Lord".

Now then.... there were some interesting changes in my fiance that took me by surprise. First up, she drove to Subang Parade from home at Jalan Templar on Friday, all by herself with one passenger. Sound normal? Not really. She's the type wouldn't that wouldn't dare to drive anywhere unfamiliar. I have never shown her the way to that shopping complex, and her passenger do not know the way. I've driven her to Subang Carrefour before, but the traffic jam in Subang Jaya had her scared already. So it's really a pleasant surprise to see her finally taking up the challenge to commute on her own..... But then again, this could be due to the motivation power to do shopping. :)

Secondly, during an early "boxing day" event in her office, everyone went out for a hearty lunch. During desert, she and her friends were looking the menu and found an item which not one of them have heard of. And so she decided to order it and give it a try because the name sounds interesting. Another big surprise for me! Because this lovely fiance of mine NEVER try anything type of food that she had never seen, heard, or tasted before. Curiosity never make her try new things before. She prefer to shy from taking up the challenge to try something new. This is something MONUMENTAL in the history of our lives. :)

Later, she told me that it was from my influence that made her make this change. And I am so happy about to hear that. ^_^

Last Monday, we have finally submitted our application to join the Weekend for the Engaged program, and confirmed the participation on Friday. It will be a 3 days 2 nights stay-in retreat for couples getting ready to get married. I prefer to have one weekend to go over this course rather than attending weekly classes that spans to about 6 weeks. This way, we can concentrate fully on the course without any interruption in between. This will be the n-th time I join any retreat and the first for her. So it will be interesting to know what she thinks about it.

Miracles have been popping up left and right during the week. And the pessimist little me is wondering if the end of the world is approaching. Man, we never count our blessings, but this time, I am thanking the Lord for these wonderful things.

I don't know if these are rewards, as a result of our many attempts and actions for making our wedding a conflict-less, problem-less, and hiccup-less event. If it was, I have only 3 words to say - "Praise the Lord!"

There were so many good things happening these days, I simply can't write them all down. It would mean having to write a mini novel. So I'll just highlight a few.

Mama won the lottery, at second place! But since her bets are higher than normal, it counts just as much as a first place winning. The payout is still not much, but it's just about enough to sponsor her week-long holiday trip to Taiwan with Papa. Hey, we're not greedy, cos it's the placing that counts, ya know. Mama gave me a phone call to tell me how this has been one of the happiest day of her life. This news made her trip worry-free because she don't have to think about having to curfew her spendings. I am SO happy for her. Other than that, I am so happy for Papa, being able to see the Pacific Ocean line from this trip. His descriptions of his experience on this trip has told me how much he enjoyed it. My wishes have come true, that my parents are finally being able to enjoy life, after many many many years of sufferings and turmoils of maintaining our family. Although I am sad, that those money did not come from me, but I am determined to one day send them to a trip with money earned from my sweat and blood. Mama will be retiring from her business, and Papa will be retiring from work next year. So I expect them to be traveling a lot.

So what's next? A smile. :)

The "smile" in topic, came from the one person that have protested my wedding of my fiance - her mother. At first, her protest was very loud, but had died down to a complete cold war against us and all around her. But something has changed. Last month, I attended the wedding of my fiance's cousin. Needless to say, her family was there too. For the entire day, I avoided eye-contact with her mom, to avoid any sort of ... well, anything. Then later that evening of wedding reception, just about when everyone is leaving, I swallowed my pride, approached her and extended my hand to her to say goodbye for the night - just doing my part, a simple gesture of respect to an elder. To my surprise, she took my hand, and even returned a brief smile. I must say, that I am most relieved, even if it could just be an obligatory gesture.

But it happened again yesterday. My parents who came back from their holiday trip, went for the morning mass, and coincidentally (or accidentally, if you will) sat right behind my fiance's family in the pews. After the mass had ended, Mama went ahead to start a short conversation with my fiance's grandma - a fatal action in my opinion. But it happened - my fiance's mom smiled back at Mama when she greeted her.

I don't know, if again, it's just a gesture or just manners. I am delighted by the whole turn of event. I think, next year would be a wonderful year. I am blessed. Now if some share of miracle could happen to the return of Kago Ai.

I do expect bad things to happen though, the devil always come to cause problems everytime we do God's bidding and keeping our peace. But whatever it may be, come what may. Because I am sure, things will be alright in the end.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Bloggy, Bloggy Blog - the test results

Actually, me typing while I'm halfway to slumberland, had a purpose to it. It's just a experiment to test how my mind works while I'm half asleep. There's a reason for this, and I'll explain later. Overall, I find the results quite... interesting, to say the least.

I typed the entire thing with my eyes closed, leaned back on my chair, both my hands extended over the keyboard, and typed away whatever comes to my mind. Just kept on typing, not sure if I DID really fall asleep at any point. And then, I forced my eyes open, without even reading the the blogs contents, squinting and struggling to find the "PUBLISH" button, clicked it, checked the clock, turned off the monitor, and jumped straight to bed. ^_^

As a result: 40 minutes of texts, and a blog post of random thoughts. I remember pausing in between paragraphs, but I seriously do not remember more than 50% of what I typed. Especially the Carlito Caribbean Cool quote of "That's cool" part. ^_^ For the most part, I am surprised that I am still able to do bit of formatting even though all I see is blackness.

The reason
I am conducting a simple but crude experiment to find out what ticks me, and what drives me. By being in a state of half-asleep, I am attempting to tap into my sub-conscious mind to see what is hidden at the back of my head. Usually you can do that by meditating quietly or lucid dreaming. But we're in the Information Age... let's do it cyber-punk style. ^_^
Do not underestimate the sub-conscious mind. I remember the time that when I spent days arranging and composing a song, I got a lukewarm response. But when I wrote another song with minimal arrangement, in the wee hours of the morning, sleepy and tired, spent less than 15 minutes on it,... the song was praised and noted. I think that we are at our most creative and innovative self, when you are able to dig inside your heart and soul, and express it so that others may feel whatever touches you and is dear to you personally.
.... probably that's why some musicians over-indulge themselves with alcohol and crack. Not that I am encouraging it, of course...

The production analysis
Stands for "What You Think Is What You Type". And I think that I think in organized point-form manner. Scary... over the years of watching and analysing people, my mindset has warped to a point that I possibly conduct thesis and personality analysis on every person I meet. If I had taken classes on NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), I would have either have a full head of white hair by now, or I am completed bald due to falling of hair.

Stands for "What You Type Is What You Think". I am able to express myself by just typing on the keyboard. I can be as one with the computer... Which is another way of saying that I am getting more nerdy than I think.

3) Repeating myself too much
19 words of part of words containing the word "blog". I'm getting old. And it's usually something I worry the most, which brings to the next point:

4) I ask too many questions
18 questions marks (?). Meaning I think too much and worry too much.

The content analysis
In summary, I worry a lot. That I know, but always I lost track on what I worried about. On content, I think that I have a lot on my mind with regards to blogging. I didn't talk much about my personal stuff or my Jpop stuff. I had regrets (that I did not record those memorable things on polaroid and paper) about my past, and I have not sought to reconcile with them. Probably, I am currently attempting to use this blog to overcome it. Along the way, I challenged myself with some other goals, like having at least 1 blog post every 2 days so that I don't get lazy,... but maybe got side-tracked just a little. Finally, realised that even though I always say that I do not mind what others think of me, my subconscious mind thought otherwise. However, I am certain that what I do mind is how my actions affect other people.

- Created 2 blog posts of unscientific material (because I ran out of normal blog topics)
- Learned some new things about myself (because I rarely sit and reflect my actions)
- I lead a dual-life, and has kept it separated as much as possible (When I'm offline, I do not think about my incoming email. When I'm online, I do not want to be bothered by anyone)
- Need to check my English grammar before publishing posts (...yup, that's it.)
- Need to use less first person contexts e.g. I, my, me, myself ...etc (Don't wanna sound narcissistic)
- I sound like a crackpot when I'm half asleep (my fiance can testify to that)
- I have less work in office currently (have more time to think of crazy blog ideas like this)
- I need to backup my blogs soon (in case, the Blogger database server catches fire)
- UFA needs to bring Aibon back (Ok, I just sneaked this one in...)

Have a nice day. Peace ^_^

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Bloggy, bloggy blog

Blogging about blogging.

That sentence itself sounds funny to my ears. But lately i have been thinking about it. I'm typing with me eyes closed and just typing whatever comes to my head. Will look disorganized.

And that previous paragraph is what I'm going discuss now.

I've been thinking, that at the end of it, blogging divided to the following types:

1) Blogging for yourself
2) Blogging for others

At first, I started blogging for myself. This one in particular was started and suppose dto be a place where I rant about my break-up. I know that my ex wouldn't discover it anyway, so I don't care. But then again, if that's the case, why do I publish it online over the net? If I wanted it to be personal and secret, shouldn't I do it with my text editor and save it in my hard disk? Part of me wants her to read it someday? Hell no. Which makes me wonder why do I do it anyway?

I blog so that I may record whatever that happens in my life, so that i have something to look back and think that my life has been colorfuland is not all wasted times. I regret that during my school years that I have not taken much pictures. I have done a lotta shit, including being in the military band, joining the Wushu club, lead the group in the Chinese Instrumental club, my first and only basketball tournament, the memorable school drama, the 3 day long camp inthe the wet hills...etc. If i have a photobook to record them all, i will have a olourful history to look back and remind myself that yes, I have my own achievements and probably have left my mark in someone else's heart.

I started my other blog about Hello! Project stuff so that I can jot down my findings and news, to chart and record my mission on fidnding news about my dear Kago Ai, the suspended artiste because of a careless and irresponsible action.

but the blog went on, and become a place where I mostly write so that others may see it and always, i look forward for any feedback and comments, to know i have done something worthwhile.

I know iknow. some people use blogging as a way to express themselves, and to showcase their works. so that one day they may compike it into a book and sell em off. some budding writers use it and the social network to hopefully get recognse one day.

Do i blog so that i get recognised too? I say that I blog for myself, but why do ikeep checking for any user comments, and why do i keep checking back the site visitor statistics to see if my writings are what people want to read about?

yes there is a sense of acheivement to know that my writings are appreaciated, but didn't i start bloggin for myself? when did the chagne happen? I feel like i blog now for others. sharing is one thing, seeking attention is another.

read swifty's blog andhis posting of his MSN conversation with his partner. It's hard to blog for him because he is trying to get recognition, and hop that some people may form a community there.

Is blogging for self centrerd and narcisstic people?

is it suppose to be pastime? has the author or the readers taken the blog seriously?

i'm sleeppy right now, my eyes are totally closed, and i'm typing it off my my mind. i may open my eyes and see the tons of typingand grammar mistakes.

is this what people call emo bloggin?

in conclusion.... i forgot what's the conclusion may be.
oh yeah right.... where d oi go from heere? do i stilll continue to do what ever i have now? will my bloggin topics change? do i blog to get attetion?////

ok i am close to falling asleep while typing.... now that would be an intersting thing to happen. waking up hours later and conuing the rest of the post.... and say that oh, i have done something weird to day.. am i typing for sake of typing,? i hate being me.... no actually i am fine being the way i am.... i doubt that many others can survice life being me. then again, i also doubt anybody wants to be me..... i am not playing for this year's christmas carols with the carlling troupe. the need to find new blood to join the group/ coming bakc will only encourage them to slack .

aibon please come back.....
found lots of similarities between me and my fiance today.... i think found a "mirror site" of myself.... and that.... that's cool. (bites an apple)

will read my own post tomorrow morning.... interesting to see what i am capable of while talking when half asleep....

g'night... love and peace.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Net Connection Down

Net connection down since yesterday, and just so happens that there was a problem with one the servers that I have been monitoring at work is down. Had to rush to the nearest internet cafe to solve it. I feel so paralyzed.

Oh I know how much I'm dependent on my net connection, but it sucks every time it happens. I was offline with my PC, and I'm staring at the monitor screen wondering, "what the heck am I going to do now?"


I'm typing this from my office. Will be going down to the service centre tonight to settle the problem. If I had known that the centre was open on Sunday, I won't be having this terrible mood now.

Double damn...

My Guitar Works