Bloggy, Bloggy Blog - the test results

Actually, me typing while I'm halfway to slumberland, had a purpose to it. It's just a experiment to test how my mind works while I'm half asleep. There's a reason for this, and I'll explain later. Overall, I find the results quite... interesting, to say the least.

I typed the entire thing with my eyes closed, leaned back on my chair, both my hands extended over the keyboard, and typed away whatever comes to my mind. Just kept on typing, not sure if I DID really fall asleep at any point. And then, I forced my eyes open, without even reading the the blogs contents, squinting and struggling to find the "PUBLISH" button, clicked it, checked the clock, turned off the monitor, and jumped straight to bed. ^_^

As a result: 40 minutes of texts, and a blog post of random thoughts. I remember pausing in between paragraphs, but I seriously do not remember more than 50% of what I typed. Especially the Carlito Caribbean Cool quote of "That's cool" part. ^_^ For the most part, I am surprised that I am still able to do bit of formatting even though all I see is blackness.


The reason
I am conducting a simple but crude experiment to find out what ticks me, and what drives me. By being in a state of half-asleep, I am attempting to tap into my sub-conscious mind to see what is hidden at the back of my head. Usually you can do that by meditating quietly or lucid dreaming. But we're in the Information Age... let's do it cyber-punk style. ^_^
Do not underestimate the sub-conscious mind. I remember the time that when I spent days arranging and composing a song, I got a lukewarm response. But when I wrote another song with minimal arrangement, in the wee hours of the morning, sleepy and tired, spent less than 15 minutes on it,... the song was praised and noted. I think that we are at our most creative and innovative self, when you are able to dig inside your heart and soul, and express it so that others may feel whatever touches you and is dear to you personally.
.... probably that's why some musicians over-indulge themselves with alcohol and crack. Not that I am encouraging it, of course...


The production analysis
1)WYThIWYTy
Stands for "What You Think Is What You Type". And I think that I think in organized point-form manner. Scary... over the years of watching and analysing people, my mindset has warped to a point that I possibly conduct thesis and personality analysis on every person I meet. If I had taken classes on NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), I would have either have a full head of white hair by now, or I am completed bald due to falling of hair.

2)WYTyIWYTh
Stands for "What You Type Is What You Think". I am able to express myself by just typing on the keyboard. I can be as one with the computer... Which is another way of saying that I am getting more nerdy than I think.

3) Repeating myself too much
19 words of part of words containing the word "blog". I'm getting old. And it's usually something I worry the most, which brings to the next point:

4) I ask too many questions
18 questions marks (?). Meaning I think too much and worry too much.


The content analysis
In summary, I worry a lot. That I know, but always I lost track on what I worried about. On content, I think that I have a lot on my mind with regards to blogging. I didn't talk much about my personal stuff or my Jpop stuff. I had regrets (that I did not record those memorable things on polaroid and paper) about my past, and I have not sought to reconcile with them. Probably, I am currently attempting to use this blog to overcome it. Along the way, I challenged myself with some other goals, like having at least 1 blog post every 2 days so that I don't get lazy,... but maybe got side-tracked just a little. Finally, realised that even though I always say that I do not mind what others think of me, my subconscious mind thought otherwise. However, I am certain that what I do mind is how my actions affect other people.


THE CONCLUSION:
- Created 2 blog posts of unscientific material (because I ran out of normal blog topics)
- Learned some new things about myself (because I rarely sit and reflect my actions)
- I lead a dual-life, and has kept it separated as much as possible (When I'm offline, I do not think about my incoming email. When I'm online, I do not want to be bothered by anyone)
- Need to check my English grammar before publishing posts (...yup, that's it.)
- Need to use less first person contexts e.g. I, my, me, myself ...etc (Don't wanna sound narcissistic)
- I sound like a crackpot when I'm half asleep (my fiance can testify to that)
- I have less work in office currently (have more time to think of crazy blog ideas like this)
- I need to backup my blogs soon (in case, the Blogger database server catches fire)
- UFA needs to bring Aibon back (Ok, I just sneaked this one in...)

Have a nice day. Peace ^_^

Bloggy, bloggy blog

Blogging about blogging.

That sentence itself sounds funny to my ears. But lately i have been thinking about it. I'm typing with me eyes closed and just typing whatever comes to my head. Will look disorganized.

And that previous paragraph is what I'm going discuss now.

I've been thinking, that at the end of it, blogging divided to the following types:

1) Blogging for yourself
2) Blogging for others

At first, I started blogging for myself. This one in particular was started and suppose dto be a place where I rant about my break-up. I know that my ex wouldn't discover it anyway, so I don't care. But then again, if that's the case, why do I publish it online over the net? If I wanted it to be personal and secret, shouldn't I do it with my text editor and save it in my hard disk? Part of me wants her to read it someday? Hell no. Which makes me wonder why do I do it anyway?

I blog so that I may record whatever that happens in my life, so that i have something to look back and think that my life has been colorfuland is not all wasted times. I regret that during my school years that I have not taken much pictures. I have done a lotta shit, including being in the military band, joining the Wushu club, lead the group in the Chinese Instrumental club, my first and only basketball tournament, the memorable school drama, the 3 day long camp inthe the wet hills...etc. If i have a photobook to record them all, i will have a olourful history to look back and remind myself that yes, I have my own achievements and probably have left my mark in someone else's heart.

I started my other blog about Hello! Project stuff so that I can jot down my findings and news, to chart and record my mission on fidnding news about my dear Kago Ai, the suspended artiste because of a careless and irresponsible action.

but the blog went on, and become a place where I mostly write so that others may see it and always, i look forward for any feedback and comments, to know i have done something worthwhile.

I know iknow. some people use blogging as a way to express themselves, and to showcase their works. so that one day they may compike it into a book and sell em off. some budding writers use it and the social network to hopefully get recognse one day.

Do i blog so that i get recognised too? I say that I blog for myself, but why do ikeep checking for any user comments, and why do i keep checking back the site visitor statistics to see if my writings are what people want to read about?

yes there is a sense of acheivement to know that my writings are appreaciated, but didn't i start bloggin for myself? when did the chagne happen? I feel like i blog now for others. sharing is one thing, seeking attention is another.

read swifty's blog andhis posting of his MSN conversation with his partner. It's hard to blog for him because he is trying to get recognition, and hop that some people may form a community there.

Is blogging for self centrerd and narcisstic people?

is it suppose to be pastime? has the author or the readers taken the blog seriously?

i'm sleeppy right now, my eyes are totally closed, and i'm typing it off my my mind. i may open my eyes and see the tons of typingand grammar mistakes.

is this what people call emo bloggin?

in conclusion.... i forgot what's the conclusion may be.
oh yeah right.... where d oi go from heere? do i stilll continue to do what ever i have now? will my bloggin topics change? do i blog to get attetion?////


ok i am close to falling asleep while typing.... now that would be an intersting thing to happen. waking up hours later and conuing the rest of the post.... and say that oh, i have done something weird to day.. am i typing for sake of typing,? i hate being me.... no actually i am fine being the way i am.... i doubt that many others can survice life being me. then again, i also doubt anybody wants to be me..... i am not playing for this year's christmas carols with the carlling troupe. the need to find new blood to join the group/ coming bakc will only encourage them to slack .



aibon please come back.....
found lots of similarities between me and my fiance today.... i think found a "mirror site" of myself.... and that.... that's cool. (bites an apple)

will read my own post tomorrow morning.... interesting to see what i am capable of while talking when half asleep....

g'night... love and peace.

Net Connection Down

Net connection down since yesterday, and just so happens that there was a problem with one the servers that I have been monitoring at work is down. Had to rush to the nearest internet cafe to solve it. I feel so paralyzed.

Oh I know how much I'm dependent on my net connection, but it sucks every time it happens. I was offline with my PC, and I'm staring at the monitor screen wondering, "what the heck am I going to do now?"

Damn...

I'm typing this from my office. Will be going down to the service centre tonight to settle the problem. If I had known that the centre was open on Sunday, I won't be having this terrible mood now.

Double damn...